If Only

If you could only see me from the inside out...running in a field of flowers amid the morning dew...Supping white wine inside my thoughts...if only

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Somewhere along the way, things turned from a sunny yellow to a cluster of facts for me. The smooth edges of childhood became a tear drop of maturity. Gone are the echoes of hear-says, murmurings, and words of wisdom that came from the both of you. Oh, I remember them so well.... One voice lies silent inside his place of sleep within a world of cement. Somewhere in another world, mama no longer knows of years, days or presidents in office. Seems so strange to here her say "Abe Lincoln".. Yes, I've lost her too, though I have her with me every day... Oh yes, I hear the other voice, often, with such clarity.... It seems to be locked inside the lace-like sleep of my locked mind.... "What did you say?" "Oh, that's what I thought you said." "No daddy, I was not prepared to stand upon the stage of life alone.... Ah, but I am grown, married and can do this...Yes, I must do this... Sunday afternoons take me across town where you're buried...I find myself thinking many things. So many wonderful memories, daddy. I drive down-hill on the white-paved road where you rest... The whole place is certainly 'spit shined'...Much like your boots were. Yes, eternal rest daddy... Bonnie blue skies stand at attention bearing puffed clouds that glide ever so gracefully to greet one and all...Well kept lawns are always expected on government property... I sit a moment in the car watching others kneel beside their loved ones..... The planes fly overhead with loud proclamations..... You always liked watching planes land and take off. You were in the Navy and talked of their landing on the ship that you were stationed on in WWII. I speak with you, bring flowers and tell you I love you. I think you speak to me, at times...I really don't want you to see me cry as I pick up my emotions and tell you goodbye. You have been gone now since 2008...I still can't make myself listen to your radio tapes.. I hold them dearly amidst a shadow of pain... Someday, yes just maybe someday, I can listen. Bye for now... I will return again, on Sunday.... I love you daddy

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Secluded, through time zones, I sip from the nectar of your words as I sit quietly inside your world…. You are here but I am lost in the winter of my days, still yet...….. I wait while relishing a bit of your time…It taste of promises, sweet cinnamon and of infinity….. A secluded place in the mountains, I have created for no ones eyes but ours. I shuffle my life into the shadows when I can’t taste, feel or dress you inside my mirror… My eyes paint you at the intersection of each image...I kiss them all You know…... Like a Roman God, they speak To me………Like a Roman Goddess, I speak "Ubi tu gaius ego gaia", in quiet reply EGO diligo vos meus Romanorum Breul. EGO specto thee