If Only

If you could only see me from the inside out...running in a field of flowers amid the morning dew...Supping white wine inside my thoughts...if only

Saturday, June 20, 2009

REFLECTIONS




I feel inward tears as I reflect upon the lasting memories. I purpose to understand the black and white finality involved in death.

There's a map that directs us to a place of acceptance, understanding, and peace while taking away the painted darkness that lingers

Believing with my whole being that God would heal you, I diligently prayed. I had no doubt in my mind or did I?

I became a child with mustard seed faith. I stood strong every waking hour while my insides crumbled at the wasting away of your physical body not to mention your mind. I felt winter’s chill grip my heart as I stood by your bed watching decay consume you slowly and painfully.

Yet, I believed with all my heart, soul, and mind that you would be healed. It’s been almost a year since you closed your eyes, and I said goodbye. I've found the map that has allowed me to accept that you’re gone.

I've found understanding from the one that created you. I continually seek peace within this valley of the shadow of death as I find myself amid this place.

You see, Daddy, I know that you are healed, the cancer is gone, the broken bones are restored, and you are happy beside your Creator, but I miss you still.

God is a loving God … You taught me that…

God is my map and I have the Precious Memories

I love you, Daddy

June 20, 2009

9 comments:

Misty Veil said...

Sandy,
I recall reading this elsewhere and being so moved by the way you described the feelings we all experience through loss... the grief which seems insurmountable, the feeling of abandonment and endless questioning...
We do find acceptance through faith, love and healing however the pain takes some time to ease...
Bless you Sandy...
Linda.x

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